I love new beginnings. Nothing beats New Years. It’s a fresh start; wipe out the old, and bring in the new stuff. Yes, I love it. It’s like a mulligan in golf – second chances. We serve a God of second and third chances, right? We get to make new promises, pledges of change, and this time we will get it right. The motivational guys tell us to set goals. So, we create a few objectives, nothing crazy, we got this! Awesome!

Please!?

Why do I do this every single year? Ok, reality check. It never works the way I want it to. It’s the same story over and over year after year: start strong, great ideas, revelation, inspiration, plans, promises…..only to flame out….again.
Here’s a list of simple pledges that I have made over the years:

• I’m going to lose 20 pounds (this time I’ll do it!).   Seems easy enough…measurable, obtainable, not too lofty. Yea right! I put on 5 lbs. by Valentine’s Day. Why not add 5 more by Easter?
• Eating better: reduce my carb intake, no soda, no sugar, and no milk… NO CHANCE! I love bread, I love soda, candy is dandy, and what would I put on my 10 pm cereal? I think Carol found the Oreo cookie box in my truck. I can destroy one of those bags in a few minutes.
• Pray for 1 hour every morning = very spiritual.  Surely God will help me make this happen? Does falling asleep mid- prayer on the couch count? How about on my recliner with Bible on my lap? Was that the sound of tongues or a snore? Oh well, we are suppose to pray unceasingly anyway.
• Read the Bible through in one year.  This will make me a spiritual giant. How many guys can do this? Pretty sure I could be Apostle Travis, if I finish. I remember getting stuck in Leviticus somewhere between grain offerings and the Day of Atonement. I’ll start again next year.
• Create a solid financial budget and stick to it.  I bought a great book, calculator, and software. Put it all on a credit card, found it in March under my one year bible, oops…

You get the idea. Can any of you relate? Ok, I’m sick of it. No more promises, pledges, goals, expectations, and no more resolutions. It’s defeating, really. It is all or nothing with me. As soon as I fall off the wagon, I stay off. Or was I suppose to stay on the wagon? Anyway…..

This year I’ve got a new plan. Instead of cutting back on all the things we enjoy, let’s indulge ourselves!  Let’s go hog wild and crazy. Why not invest wholeheartedly in a few things that may enhance our lives? Let us feast on all that is before us. Let us not restrain ourselves and then be defeated. Let’s lift off the shackles and be gratified by the very things that we love the most. Here are a few considerations to indulge on:

Wife: Ecclesiastes 9:9, “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun.” It’s time to date her again. Pursue her again. Remember how you couldn’t wait to see her when you were dating? You obsessed over her. You spent all your free time with her. You enjoyed her! Why not try that again? Invest in her, and you may be surprised by the return.

Kids: Psalm 127: 3-5, “Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.” Since we are now empty nesters, I can speak of this from a different prospective. I miss parenting. I envy those of you who still have children at home. Enjoy it! It goes really, really fast. You will never regret spending too much time playing games, reading, playing catch or a zillion other activities. Soak it up, the time will go faster than you can possibly imagine. Invest in them, you will enjoy the rewards.

Wisdom: Proverbs 2:1-5, “My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” Let’s feast on some wisdom, let’s get all we can. You can’t do it all in one sitting, but you can work on it all year long. There are a lot of verbs in this scripture to help in discovering what it takes to find wisdom: Accept, Turn, Apply, Call out, Cry aloud, Look, and Search. Men, we love treasure hunts. This is it! Let’s go searching this year and savor every morsel we can find. Invest in Him and we will never be disappointed.

May your indulgences fulfill your wildest imaginations.

The only thing worse than the extra 10 pounds that we put on over the last two months of the year, is the tens, hundreds, and even thousands of dollars of debt we can accumulate. The shock we get when the bills roll in can set us back quite a bit.  The frustration and bitterness is the most miserable lingering effect.  All of this can be avoided, or at least expected, if we do a little budgeting.  Money is one of the most difficult topics for couples to tackle.  Taking the time to work through these issues will go a long way to building harmony and peace.  It can also help curb the interest rate charges we will be getting soaked with.

Tip #2 Financial Planning

• Gifts- If we don’t set a specific budget for each gift there will be no guidelines to follow.  This puts particular pressure on our wives.  If we don’t set the boundaries, they have no way to confidently purchase presents.  What typically happens is; purchases get made on credit cards without much thought of the debt.  We get frustrated every time we get a bill or see a bag of gifts.  Then our wives feel bad because we are upset, yet we did not provide any leadership for them to follow in the first place.  We just get mad and tell them something to the effect, “We can’t let this get out of hand.”  Ironically, it  really doesn’t mean anything.  There must be specific guidelines and specific dollar amounts to work with.  Worse yet, we start to feel guilty that we haven’t bought anything, so we run off to Walmart, Target or even worse the mall.  We don’t coordinate with our wives and she feels the double standard.  A gift budget can help prevent the impulse purchases that can hurt the most. If we don’t provide this kind of leadership, we don’t have the right to be angry when the bills come.
• Food-  Feeding the masses can be very expensive.  A well thought out menu can go a long way to corralling the food costs.  The real food expense comes when we eat out.  This is where the “check grabber” in me comes out.  It’s really important to have a financial plan for these occasions.
• Travel-  If we are on the road to see our loved ones, gas and hotels can drive up an already mounting debt.  With a little thought and research we can have an idea of what the basic costs will be.  It’s better to have an idea of what we are facing than getting surprised and having a melt-down on the road as we go share some holiday cheer…..HA!

It’s time to get a handle on the finances.  If we don’t now, we will regret it in January.

The holidays are a time to rejoice, eat, party, celebrate, visit, eat, drive, spend, did I mention eat?  It starts with Halloween, lots of candy, overindulgence of sugar and poor dietary choices.  This moves quickly to Thanksgiving;  family comes to town, more eating, football, spending, arguing, clean up and eat again (love those leftovers).  Then, we stay up all night to save a few bucks on gifts that we can’t really afford.  Is it true that this time of year brings out the best and worst of us?

The hope that the holidays bring is only exceeded by the conflict and debt it produces.  We all want to connect with family.  We all want to celebrate the birth of Christ.  We all want to enjoy traditions that have been passed from generation to generation.  Why does it seem these are the most stressful, pain-filled, heart-ache days of our year?  This, to be followed by the start of a new year that forces us to make pledges of change.

Why not start now with change?  Let’s learn from holidays past to make this a great season of worship and family.

Here’s the deal men, it’s time to get in the game.  All too often, in an effort to be compliant we just go along with the flow and try not to make a mess of things. We think we are leading, in fact, we are just conceding. Concession will ultimately lead to resentment and that’s usually what happens in January after the dust has settled.  Well, I don’t think that is how the people of God should act.  We all end up disconnected, hurt, tired, frustrated and broke when the new year rolls around.  Here are some ideas to get you in engaged, so you can fully enjoy this most Holy of seasons.

Tip #1:  Make a plan.

Proverbs 29:18a “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (KJV)

It’s not too late, you still can do.  Without a specific goal, there is no way to know where you are going or if you are making good time.  To fully enjoy this season a strategy is very useful.  This will mean an investment of time.  Gentlemen, your wives have been planning this for quite a while.  It’s time for you to get on board and become an active participant in this endeavor.  You are going to have to get together with her, make an appointment if need be, and get pen and paper and start to set plans and goals.  It’s like painting a room.  Preparation is the key to having a beautiful paint job.  You must tape everything, have the right tools, drop cloths in place, ladders, brushes, etc.  If you don’t, it’s going to be a mess.  It’s the same with planning the holidays.  You have to take the time to get on the same page:

1. Look at the schedule.  Who is coming and when.  Who is picking up at the airport and where are they staying?  What events are we committed to?  Which ones are optional?  You should coordinate your calendars so she knows what work responsibilities you are dealing with and how much freedom you have.  If we get on the same page it can keep me from being defensive if I have a lot on my plate and she starts to add things to it.  This will also help me understand how full her plate is and how I can help ease her burden.  This needs to be a team effort.  Does she feel like I’m on her team or working against her?
2. Meal planning.  Ladies are always carrying this by themselves.  Why should they?  Can we help shop?  Of course we can.  In most cases we don’t think to ask.  If we are asking, “How can I help?”, she won’t have to feel like she is “bugging me” when she asks me to run to the store.  Help her think through what the meals can look like and who will do the cooking. You can cook a breakfast or two if need be. This will also keep you from being disappointed with leftovers, or a depleted pantry.  It’s better to get involved than just to complain, “….we don’t have anything to eat around here.”
3. Travel.  If you are traveling to see family, this is an important part of the plan.  Driving can cause a great deal of tension in the family.  If we plan accordingly we can avoid some of this tension.  Men: take your time!  This is not a race.  You can make this trip more enjoyable if you relax and allow everyone to be comfortable with your driving and take time for potty stops.  Plan on making the drive fun; play games like the alphabet game, or calling out the states of license plates etc. Try not to drive too far each day, you will wear yourself out before you even get there. Don’t be too cheap to get a hotel, it will cost you a lot more in the end if you don’t!   Be sure to reserve your hotel room (I learned this one the hard way).
4. Games/Activities.  This is where you can really shine men.  Get everyone involved in charades, board games, or outside activities.  This will keep the kids active and away from technology.  It’s family time, not time to disappear into a phone, computer or a video game.  We must plan to make the most of these times or it won’t happen.  Your wife does not want to make you have to do this, she wants it to be your idea.  She knows you are a lot more enthusiastic about your ideas, than hers.  If you have a lot of family, making last minute activity plans can be a nightmare and create lots of conflict.  Take charge (while still being patient) and make the most of these plans.

“He who fails to plan, is planning to fail”- Winston Churchill